Writers aren't exactly people, they're a lot of people trying to be one person. F.Scott Fitzgerald

Saturday, May 7, 2011


       Haven't updated in a bit,which is unusual for me.Thought long and hard about what I wanted to talk about and decided I wanted to talk about being in a situation where you had to make a choice between the lesser of two evils.Maybe it's a marriage that in spite of trying,and a child together, you just couldn't make it work. Staying together for any reason other than love and respect for each other is never going to work.Eventually someone, even the child,if not everyone is going to be hurt and unhappy.
      A clean amiable parting of the ways is best for everyone,but that rarely occurs. In the majority of divorces, one partner is going to be left and devastated. Maybe they are still deeply in love,or maybe they are afraid of being alone, or jealous. Whatever the reason for the split, the partner left behind is usually the one who eventually becomes the angriest,most bent on causing pain and a wide range of problems for the partner who instigated the separation.
     The child is caught in the middle and occasionally used as a pawn in the painful game of marital/divorce chess.Either or both partners can and usually do go through varying degrees of the stages of grief:
1.Shock or Disbelief 2.Denial 3.Anger 4.Bargaining 5.Guilt 6.Depression 7. Acceptance and Hope.

     These stages are usually felt by both partners and can jump back and fourth until finally they both come to terms with reality. that doesn't mean,both partners get over the break and get on with their lives in a timely manner. they don't usually go through the stages the same way and they usually
don't get over the stages of grief and loss in the same amount of time.
    Sadly some get stuck in anger and vindictiveness and make it their mission in life to make the other partner miserable and inflict as much pain as possible.

There are no winners in a divorce,there are merely, survivors who are, hopefully, able to eventually find happiness.

No comments: