Writers aren't exactly people, they're a lot of people trying to be one person. F.Scott Fitzgerald

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The Scary World of a Writer or Pulling Your Pants Down In Public!

          I am following my dream of becoming a writer. let me amend that slightly. I have always been a writer in my heart.Songs,stories,poems,etc! when I retired a few years ago I decided to write a novel with the hope of becoming a published author. Five years later I have three full length novels written,working on two more and a book of my original bedtime stories for children that is turning out to be a novel about fantasy characters that is suitable for children of all ages.
        I know in my head I won't ever know if my books are publishable unless I actually send them out into the world to be judged.I can't seem to make that final step and submit a query to an agent or send anything to a publisher. I don't even have the courage to join the local query group.
       Why? Several reasons come to mind.First, I suppose I am terrified that I will find out my writing sucks and my novels are poorly written and weak on characters,plot and the overall story is boring. I cannot be objective about my own writing and I'm too chicken to put it out there and find out the truth.
     What if I am a lousy writer? What if I'm really good? Which prospect is scarier? I don't really know is my best and most honest answer. I read a quote a year or so ago that said writing and publishing a book is akin to pulling your pants down and exposing yourself in public. Now I truly understand what they meant.
         I have decided while writing this blog post and really taking a good honest look at myself, that I am going to start by attending the next critique group meeting. No one can cut you down to size and deflate your ego faster than a room full of writers or build your confidence in yourself as a writer faster. Few writers have never received a rejection notice on their long hard road to being a published writer and that's probably why they are quicker to offer a kind word of encouragement along with an honest critique of your work.
        Okay,okay I am going to pee or get of the proverbial pot, take a deep breath and take the next step; and seriously look at agent lists, online submission requirements for agents and publishers in my genres and decide which way to go.
        Lord just putting that down in print makes my belly and chest tighten and my heart beat faster.Scary is a mild word for how I feel at this moment.Hopefully it will get better as I enter the foray and have a few hits or rejections under my belt.So long for now friends.I'll post how things turn out and my progress after I actually do some of the things I've said I'll do.


DeAnn said...

I love your post. Are you sure you weren't writing about me? If this blog is an indication of your writing--well get yourself sending out queries NOW! You made me laugh, you made me gasp and I caught myself nodding my head in agreement in more than one place.
Thanks for guiding me here. ;-)

Vonnie Davis said...

I'm with DeAnn. You write quite well. I, too, had those same thoughts. Part of being a writer is the curse of self-doubt. I held onto the dream of being published for 50 years. My debut novel comes out shortly after I turn 63. So now I'm writing like a madwoman, trying to catch up with what my insecurities prevented me from doing--writing.

If you'd like a mentor for a month or two, I'm available. I mentor 2 other writers. Mainly I'm a cheerleader, not in a short skirt, of course. Girlfriend, we don't EVEN want to go there. ;-)

I leave tomorrow for a 4-day writers retreat. If you want to correspond, email me at vonnie.davis at ymail.com -- I'll reply when I get back.

Carly Carson said...

I drive my dd home from school each day past another school with a board out front with quotes. Yesterday's quote was something like this: "If you try, you may fail. If you don't try, you are doomed." It's probably a little pithier when quoted correctly. Take that first step. I think you'll be glad you did.