Sitting here trying to make my money stretch to pay all my bills and realized it is a futile attempt.At one point at the height of frustration at the impossibility of my task i paused to ponder an off asked question by myself and I am sure many others. "Why wasn't I born rich instead of beautiful?"Then it hit me that I was neither.Oh I'm not ugly and look tolerably well for an overweight sixty- six year old lady.
I was born to middle class parents in the mid 40's when you actually had a middle class.My mother wanted a better life and chose to go to work as a secretary for a self- made millionaire who was at the end of a long marriage. Well things progressed between them and they more or less began to see each other after hours.eventually my mother and I moved in with him and we were happy for many years.I had my first taste of wealth and privilege and I loved it.
Now I am no stranger to hard work and farm life is not easy,but I loved every minute of it. This was the life I had always wanted.Cattle,horses,farm/ranch life was a realization of all my dreams and I treasure every minute I spent on our farm and with my stepfather.he was my hero and still is.Oh he had his faults but I accepted the good with the not so good and never looked back.
Today I sit in my lovely apartment and look back at the stupid choices I have made in my life that took me away from the life and people I loved.Now don't get me wrong,I have had a great life filled with highs and lows and have some spectacular memories.some good and some not so good.Would I go back and change things if I was given a do over. My first instinct is to say absolutely I would in a heartbeat!
Then I revisit my memories and review my life and I am not so sure.If I could have a do over and be aware of everything I had already experienced,pick the age to begin the do over,then I honestly think I would take the chance.
So all in all the bottom line answer is yes I would take the chance and go for the do over.
What would you do if you were given the chance for a do over?Would you chance it?
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
THE ROLLER COASTER RIDE OF YOUR LIFE!
Well, I have found myself in the unusual situation of finding myself unable to write any new words in any of my manuscripts. I sat my butt in my new computer chair,in my cozy little office area, in my lovely new apartment and stared at the computer screen of an unknown length of time.
I finally sneaked away with my metaphorical tail tucked between my legs and watched my, " Little Dorrit" and" Pride and Prejudice" Dvds.Even Matthew Macfadyen's gorgeous presence didn't inspire me to write,but it did make me forget I was not writing for an hour or two.
Well here I am siting at my desk two weeks later and I still haven't written any new words in any of my current WIP's. But I am writing this new post on my blog and it's more productive than staring at a blank page on my blank laptop screen.I don't have the heart or the courage to click on the icons to open any of my manuscripts. Even the icons for my different works in progress stare at me accusingly from their designated spots on the screen and send me into a guilt trip over my non-productivity!
Is this writer's block or shell shock from all the drama surrounding me the last few months?I think it is a bit of both.
Today feels different though. I can feel my muses discussing the situation and I think they are discontinuing their holiday in Ireland and heading back to me. Finally,I can see the light at the end of the long black tunnel and hopefully it isn't an express train hurtling toward me.
What was that? Did I just catch a whiff of the stench of negativity? Why, I do believe I did and it has no place in my life right now.I am in my new home,I will have money coming in to pay all my bills and I will survive and land on my feet as I always have. This too shall pass! After all,Tomorrow is another day and as God is my witness I will never go hungry again!"You can talk about it or you can make things happen! Put up or shut up! The day is always darkest before the storm,but there will be a rainbow afterward. The sun will come up tomorrow and tomorrow will be a better day.Negative thoughts attract negativity in your life.Think positive!
Okay,Okay! I got a little carried away but the message is that I will survive and things will get better. I know I can write.I know I can tell an interesting story. I know I can weather a storm and come through it.I know life is a roller coaster ride and there has to be ups and downs.I have survived all that life has tossed at me for sixty six years and I plan to survive and call good things to me for as long as my allotted time allows.
So my fellow writers,my friends and readers. Hold your head up high and know that you are not alone in this crazy carnival ride we call life.There are millions who are holding on to the handlebar and feeling the exhilaration of the breathtaking ride.
I finally sneaked away with my metaphorical tail tucked between my legs and watched my, " Little Dorrit" and" Pride and Prejudice" Dvds.Even Matthew Macfadyen's gorgeous presence didn't inspire me to write,but it did make me forget I was not writing for an hour or two.
Well here I am siting at my desk two weeks later and I still haven't written any new words in any of my current WIP's. But I am writing this new post on my blog and it's more productive than staring at a blank page on my blank laptop screen.I don't have the heart or the courage to click on the icons to open any of my manuscripts. Even the icons for my different works in progress stare at me accusingly from their designated spots on the screen and send me into a guilt trip over my non-productivity!
Is this writer's block or shell shock from all the drama surrounding me the last few months?I think it is a bit of both.
Today feels different though. I can feel my muses discussing the situation and I think they are discontinuing their holiday in Ireland and heading back to me. Finally,I can see the light at the end of the long black tunnel and hopefully it isn't an express train hurtling toward me.
What was that? Did I just catch a whiff of the stench of negativity? Why, I do believe I did and it has no place in my life right now.I am in my new home,I will have money coming in to pay all my bills and I will survive and land on my feet as I always have. This too shall pass! After all,Tomorrow is another day and as God is my witness I will never go hungry again!"You can talk about it or you can make things happen! Put up or shut up! The day is always darkest before the storm,but there will be a rainbow afterward. The sun will come up tomorrow and tomorrow will be a better day.Negative thoughts attract negativity in your life.Think positive!
Okay,Okay! I got a little carried away but the message is that I will survive and things will get better. I know I can write.I know I can tell an interesting story. I know I can weather a storm and come through it.I know life is a roller coaster ride and there has to be ups and downs.I have survived all that life has tossed at me for sixty six years and I plan to survive and call good things to me for as long as my allotted time allows.
So my fellow writers,my friends and readers. Hold your head up high and know that you are not alone in this crazy carnival ride we call life.There are millions who are holding on to the handlebar and feeling the exhilaration of the breathtaking ride.
Monday, July 18, 2011
NEWEST ENDANGERED SPECIES,SOCIAL SECURITY
Well President Obama dropped the bombshell that the Social Security system is in danger of having no money to pay all of the PEOPLE WHO HAVE WORKED ALL OF THEIR LIVES AND PAID IN MILLIONS OF DOLLARS expecting to have that money to live on when they retire!
I say reduce the salaries of all of the elected officials who are supposed to be handling things for the people who elected them,reduce the salaries of the president,tighten the budget spending for the military contracts and bring all of our military personnel home.The military have contracts with companies to buy equipment and pay exorbitant prices.one such contract was to purchase hammers.The military paid $100.00 a piece for hammers. They could have bought the exact same hammer at Wal-Mart for 5.00 each.
Stop foreign aide to countries who then buy weapons from us to sell to other countries who use them to kill our soldiers and plan terrorist attacks.
If our elected officials can't run the country in an efficient manner then we as voters have to accept the responsibility that WE elected them either by not voting or by uninformed voting!
it is our responsibility as Americans to see that our country is returned to the powerful nation that it once was.Gone are the days of trusting that the elected officials will make good on their campaign promises if they ever existed in the first place.
Gone are the days when we could spend millions helping other countries take care of them selves.
It is said "No Man Is An Island"and "We are our brothers keeper". I believe those words,but I do know there comes a time when reason and responsibility has to rear it's head. American was a great nation and can be again.But first and foremost we have to take care of our own citizens before we can help others.
I say reduce the salaries of all of the elected officials who are supposed to be handling things for the people who elected them,reduce the salaries of the president,tighten the budget spending for the military contracts and bring all of our military personnel home.The military have contracts with companies to buy equipment and pay exorbitant prices.one such contract was to purchase hammers.The military paid $100.00 a piece for hammers. They could have bought the exact same hammer at Wal-Mart for 5.00 each.
Stop foreign aide to countries who then buy weapons from us to sell to other countries who use them to kill our soldiers and plan terrorist attacks.
If our elected officials can't run the country in an efficient manner then we as voters have to accept the responsibility that WE elected them either by not voting or by uninformed voting!
it is our responsibility as Americans to see that our country is returned to the powerful nation that it once was.Gone are the days of trusting that the elected officials will make good on their campaign promises if they ever existed in the first place.
Gone are the days when we could spend millions helping other countries take care of them selves.
It is said "No Man Is An Island"and "We are our brothers keeper". I believe those words,but I do know there comes a time when reason and responsibility has to rear it's head. American was a great nation and can be again.But first and foremost we have to take care of our own citizens before we can help others.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
HOME AT LAST!
Well here I am at last,all moved into my new apartment and only a few minor glitches with internet and cable.I had help from friends moving most of the stuff from storage unit to apartment in this torrid Texas weather. My youngest daughter brought all of my stuff from various storage units and put all of it into one centrally located unit close to where I was temporarily staying.
I love my apartment.it is in a great location for me,affordable if I am careful,and the entire complex is for seniors,55 and up.It is not a retirement home, just a lovely complex for seniors,with all the amenities I could ask for.
I can't say this was an easy move but it wasn't the most difficult either. So all in all it wasn't too bad and hopefully any hard feelings will smooth over with time,but if not,we will all deal with our feelings in our own way.
As my grandmother used to say,"They have the same drawers to get glad in!"I will add,it is their choice and mine and I will have to let it go for my own piece of mind.
Sometimes I think all important conversations should be recorded for future reference.it would certainly lessen misunderstandings and the" you said ,I said," disagreements.
Well it is over and I truly hope this is my last move,unless I meet a drop dead gorgeous,wealthy, Matthew Macfadyen look alike and we fall madly in love and move to a farm in England,Ireland, Scotland or somewhere in the U.S.,sigh!Or maybe I'll find an agent who loves my writing, wants me for a client, and finds a publisher who loves my novels and wants to publish all of my manuscripts.
Hey,might as well dream big if you are going to dream.Dreams can and do come true.
I love my apartment.it is in a great location for me,affordable if I am careful,and the entire complex is for seniors,55 and up.It is not a retirement home, just a lovely complex for seniors,with all the amenities I could ask for.
I can't say this was an easy move but it wasn't the most difficult either. So all in all it wasn't too bad and hopefully any hard feelings will smooth over with time,but if not,we will all deal with our feelings in our own way.
As my grandmother used to say,"They have the same drawers to get glad in!"I will add,it is their choice and mine and I will have to let it go for my own piece of mind.
Sometimes I think all important conversations should be recorded for future reference.it would certainly lessen misunderstandings and the" you said ,I said," disagreements.
Well it is over and I truly hope this is my last move,unless I meet a drop dead gorgeous,wealthy, Matthew Macfadyen look alike and we fall madly in love and move to a farm in England,Ireland, Scotland or somewhere in the U.S.,sigh!Or maybe I'll find an agent who loves my writing, wants me for a client, and finds a publisher who loves my novels and wants to publish all of my manuscripts.
Hey,might as well dream big if you are going to dream.Dreams can and do come true.
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