Writers aren't exactly people, they're a lot of people trying to be one person. F.Scott Fitzgerald

Sunday, August 7, 2011


WEll,I asked for it and I got it! Years ago I craved being alone.All alone in my own home,able to do what I wanted and when I wanted to do it.Now don't get me wrong I loved my husband and my four children,but life was hectic with a full time very stressful job as a neonatal unit RN working twelve hour shifts,7pm to 7am.
My dream was to live in a cozy remote mountain cabin,with my dog and horse. of course I would have plenty of money to ride into town for supplies when I needed them.My own generator,my own power supply and well,etc.My cabin would be spacious and cozy and I would have a reliable vehicle for transportation to the nearest town.
I never got my remote cabin,but I did get the dog,horse and reliable transportation. Now I have an apartment of my own,no pets,no horse and no one to share my life with.
Being all alone is not as wonderful as I thought it would be.There is No One to rely on when there is a problem except myself. No to hold me when I am lonely or scared.
I find that I miss hugs, kisses, holding hands and making passionate love to a man,my man. I miss sharing my life with someone who loves me as much as I love them.So many of the things I used to take for granted and spurn when I had them ,I miss terribly. Silly ,corny jokes,family holidays,outings,pizza night, family dinners and just sharing laughter,tears, arguments, and my life with someone.
The idea of that remote cabin and being blissfully alone to do whatever I wanted to do sounded great in theory. The operative word here is THEORY. Living it is not necessarily so. I am not whining and my life isn't all bad,but it is not as full and rich as it once was.
So my friends be very careful what you wish for.Because, as I have shown,you just might get more than you bargained for.

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