Writers aren't exactly people, they're a lot of people trying to be one person. F.Scott Fitzgerald

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Reluctant Nomad?

       How does one become a reluctant nomad you as?Even if you didn't ask,dear reader I am going to explain,expound, and teach.At times I may segue into a rant,which differs from a whine,barely,but may devolve into a whine at any given moment.First I will define nomad.
      Websters defines the term as( A traveler,migrant,wanderer,roamer,gypsy or rover.)I have chosen to leave out the less than savory definitions,but feel free to look them up.
       How does one become a nomad,much less a reluctant one? Personal preferences, family preferences or needs,inherited tendencies, genetic memories,tribal habits,and least pleasant; a necessary move to escape danger,debtors, the law, or all of the above.
      Most humans and many non-humans stand at a major,life changing,crossroads, at some point in their lives.   Choices are made at that time based on the circumstances and the information we have at that moment.Occasionally,we ignore warning bells because we want to choose that different path.Go on an adventure,do something new,unexpected, and maybe a little scary.
      Excitement can be very contagious. In the heat of the moment,moving to a new home,city,state,country, or job is exciting The difficulties and challenges are pushed aside and we forge ahead,eyes shining and heart pounding with the adrenalin rush.
      Many times the move is everything one hoped it would be, at least at first. Sometimes, after the "honeymoon" period, reality intrudes. Hopefully, everything settles down and a new,wonderful lifestyle evolves and life is good. This can be permanent or unfortunately, temporary.Discontent can and often rears it's ugly head. Some problems move with us and new problems almost always appear. For me and my family it was a combination of all of the above.
      Several choices are available at this point,wait and see if the circumstances change, or get the" Hell out of Dodge"! My family chose the later.Of course we took our old problems with us,and settled in with an entirely new set of problems to add to the old ones we brought with us. What did we do? Of course,we moved again.
    Well,it seemed like the best idea at the time. Maybe it was,maybe it wasn't?We will never know.
Maybe these things would have happened anyway.Within a few months,the family was no longer intact.
     No one is really to blame.People change, fall in and out of love, and wonder if the pastures are greener on the other side of the fence.In my experience,the pastures just look greener because you can't see the SHIT until you're on the other side and step in it!
     The old adage,"Love Conquers a All", is not always accurate. Sometimes we can bend and weather a storm,sometimes we can't and break apart.
    Unfortunately, I am older and can't recover lost possessions,lost income,lost family, and a lost home, as easily as a young adult. in the Godfather, Don Corleone's mother told him,"You cannot lose your family". She was wrong!
    Well,I suppose, you are wondering why I call myself a"Reluctant Nomad"? I certainly chose to go on an adventure and I have to agree, up to a point.I expected to have a home with my family until my life ended.I was led to believe that would be the case. So here I am,without a permanent home,without my family around me,and faced with moving yet again.
    Can I do it?Of course I can! I come from a long line of Irish immigrants,Native Americans, and intrepid English, and Welsh stock.I can and will survive.A reluctant Nomad I may well be,but I am alive and I have survived all life has thrown at me.So I'll find a new home, pack my car, and move again. Hopefully this will be the last,but life has a way of tossing curve balls.I have a saying I heard years ago and  use a lot"Great Joke, Great Spirit"! Soon,I hope to be on my own again. I will smile at the memories and look forward to the new future. Maybe this time I'll break the cycle and stay put for the rest of my life.
       However; If I had the money,I'd buy a nice RV and ........?


vikkibakus said...

Pamala, what a brave and courageous Spirit you are! When I finally made the decision to apply for SSDisability I had no idea what was to come. I had a saying depending on the day, "Did I hit the smart button or the stupid button?" So, I feel you.
BTW, I am also Welsh, Scot/Irish and Greek-the stubborn is an assest hattrick. And my heart is Red-blooded, if you catch my dream catcher drift.
Glad to meet and chat!

Owldreamer said...

Thanks for your comments and support Vikki.Life just keeps handing me lemons;however I am determined to make not only lemonade,but lemon cake,cookies and lemon icebox pie.I am waiting still for disability and for temporary assistance.Never thought I would be in this situation.I'll continue to look for a critique partner,edit my two novels and continue working on my children's stories and new fantasy novel. Then it's the dreaded query time and synopsis time.Feel free to email me if you'd like at pam_owldreamer@hotmail.com