Writers aren't exactly people, they're a lot of people trying to be one person. F.Scott Fitzgerald

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Finding Comfort?

       I have no one to give me a hug or tell me everything is going to be okay and will work out for the best.That isn't a whine or a cry for pity just stating a fact. Most days I am fine all by myself and don't need comforting
      Today wasn't one of those days.Actually it hasn't been one of those days for several months,maybe even several years.I prefer not to elaborate.
      When I realized I really needed a hug today,I went in search of a substitute. I wrote several pages in my romance manuscript,which made me realize I have no romance in my life and no prospects for any in the foreseeable future.Matthew MacFadyen is taken and too young for me even if he were single.
      What did I find? Pistachio Almond ice cream, Hershey's toffee bar,macaroni and cheese and blueberry bagels dunked in hot chocolate with marshmallows and Key Lime pie heaped with cool whip and a diet Pepsi.
       No I did not eat all of this in one sitting,I spaced it out over the entire day.I read a" what if version" of Pride & Prejudice,which I am addicted to reading by the stacks, by the way,and lounged on the sofa while I listened to Christmas carols.
       Did all of these things bring me comfort.NO!Well gazing at Matthew's picture did,the rest just gave me a belly ache,numerous trips to the bathroom, and tears of sadness until I chastised myself for my pity party and called and talked to my daughter.She is discovering passionate love for the first time.Made me remember that marvelous,euphoric feeling that scares the hell out of a person and makes them desperate to hold on to it.(Sorry,that is a post for another day).
      The point is I didn't feel better,I just felt guilty for gaining back the few pounds I recently lost Next time I'll just read,drink diet Pepsi and gaze at Matthew's picture. However, it did make me wonder what do you  do to comfort yourself when all you really want is a hug and does it work?Make a comment!

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